Being as a daughter and a last child in the family, I do not show much reaction against anything that happen. I lost my my dad when I was 17 years old which made him 49 years old in the year of 2014.
Many girl friends of mine says to me 'My dad is my bestfriend! / My dad is my .... etc !'
But mine was totally different. I never spend time talking to my dad. I find it really awkward talking to him. There's even days we dont even meet or talk to each other. I always keep away. But many times too did my mind wonder 'Why didnt I had a dad like my friends too?' 'Why wasn't my dad cool like theirs?'. Well, many questions was in my head but i've never wondered the answers out till today.
I've never cried when i loss my grandma. Just the same way, i thought i wouldnt shed any of my tears when i lose my dad.. Yaa ! cause i wasnt close to him.. duhh ... but it wasn't like what i thought. At the moment i stepped into the hospital, my brother came up to me saying 'we've just loss our dad', he was crying horribly, after hearing that, i dropped to my knees and cried alot.. I've never said a single words to anybody till today, but from the hospital till they put him into the grave, i was hoping deep down in my heart that he will wake up and give a surprise.. Sadly nothing like that happen.
Not to deny, till today i still miss my dad, wishing and hoping he was here till today. I didnt expect him to begone very early before me. I dont have the best relatives !
